I need to tell you something I wish someone had told me years ago.

The reason you’re not living the full, rich, beautiful life you keep dreaming about? It’s probably not because you’re not trying hard enough. If anything, you might be trying too hard — in all the wrong directions.

I know that might sting a little. It stung when I finally saw it in my own life. But stay with me, because this realization changed everything for me. And I think it might do the same for you.

The Myth of “Just Push Harder”

For a long time, I believed that creating a life I loved meant I had to work harder, do more, figure it all out on my own. Sound familiar?

When my husband’s accident happened and I became a caregiver overnight, that belief kicked into overdrive. I was managing doctors, medications, insurance, therapy appointments, household stuff — and squeezing every last drop out of myself to keep it all together. I thought if I just pushed a little harder, stayed up a little later, said yes to one more thing, eventually I’d get to the other side of it. Eventually things would feel abundant again.

They didn’t. What I got was burned out, disconnected from myself, and further from the life I wanted than I’d ever been.

And here’s what I’ve learned since then — not just from my own experience, but from working with people who are navigating caregiving, grief, major life transitions, and that quiet ache of knowing they were meant for something more:

Abundance doesn’t respond to force. It responds to alignment.

That’s not a bumper sticker. I mean it with every part of me. The more I pushed and chased and gripped, the more stuck I felt. The more I tried to control everything, the less room there was for anything good to flow in.

What Abundance Actually Looks Like (Spoiler: It’s Not Just Money)

When most people hear the word “abundance,” they think finances. And sure, financial freedom matters. But that’s only one piece.

Real abundance is waking up and feeling like your life has room for joy in it. It’s having energy left at the end of the day — not just for responsibilities, but for you. It’s relationships that fill you up instead of drain you. It’s a sense of purpose that pulls you forward instead of a to-do list that pushes you through.

For caregivers, abundance might look like an afternoon where you’re not managing someone else’s crisis. Where you can sit with a cup of coffee and actually taste it.

For someone in the middle of a big life change — a career shift, a divorce, an empty nest, a health scare — abundance might be the moment you realize you still have choices. That your best days aren’t behind you.

Whatever it looks like for you, here’s the thing I want you to really hear: abundance isn’t something you earn by suffering enough. It’s something you allow by making space for it.

Why the Chase Actually Blocks What You Want

I talk about breathwork a lot (you probably already know that about me). And one of the things I always tell my clients is this: breathing is the bridge between fear and peace.

The same principle applies to abundance.

When you’re chasing — hustling, striving, white-knuckling your way through life — your body is in stress mode. Your nervous system is running on cortisol and adrenaline. And your brain? It’s in survival mode. Scanning for threats. Bracing for the next hard thing. There’s no room for creativity, connection, or receiving when your whole system is screaming just get through today.

I lived there for a long time. I was so focused on surviving that I forgot I was also allowed to thrive.

The chase keeps you in that survival loop. You think you’re being productive. You think you’re doing the responsible thing. But what you’re really doing is telling yourself — over and over, without realizing it — that what you want is far away, hard to reach, and only possible if you keep grinding.

And that belief? It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The Shift That Changed Things for Me

My turning point didn’t come from a strategy or a five-step plan. It came from a question.

I was exhausted. Running on empty. Doing all the things. And one day, in a quiet moment, I asked myself: How can I love me more?

Not “how can I fix this?” Not “how can I work harder?” Not “what else should I be doing?”

Just… how can I love me more?

That question cracked something open.

I started paying attention to where I was giving from obligation instead of love. Where I was saying yes when my whole body was screaming no. Where I was pouring everything into other people’s needs and leaving nothing — not even a drop — for myself.

And slowly, I made a shift. Instead of chasing the life I wanted, I started creating space for it. I leaned into what came naturally to me — connecting with people, helping them feel seen, holding space for their pain and their dreams. I stopped trying to be everything to everyone and started showing up as myself.

That’s when things started to change. Not because I finally “cracked the code.” Because I stopped fighting the current and let it carry me somewhere better.

I want to be clear about something: you don’t have to start a business or make some dramatic life overhaul for this to work. The shift is internal. It’s about recognizing the value you already carry — and giving yourself permission to stop running long enough to share it.

5 Ways to Stop Chasing and Start Receiving

These aren’t big, sweeping changes. They’re small shifts you can make right now, today, wherever you are in your life.

1. Notice where you already create value — and own it.

What comes easily to you that other people find difficult? Maybe you’re the person everyone calls when they need to talk. Maybe you’re the one who keeps things running, who notices the details, who makes people feel safe. That’s not “nothing.” That’s a gift. And when you start recognizing it as one, you stop feeling like you have to earn your place in the world.

2. Ask yourself the question that changes everything.

How can I love me more? Not in a self-indulgent way. In a “my life depends on this” way. Because honestly? It does. You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t create an abundant life from a depleted spirit. Start by asking, and then — this is the important part — actually listen to the answer.

3. Pay attention to what lights you up (even a little).

It might be something small. A type of conversation that energizes you. A hobby you haven’t touched in years. A dream you shelved because it didn’t seem practical. That pull you feel toward it? That’s not random. That’s alignment trying to get your attention. Follow it, even if you can only give it ten minutes a day.

4. Let go of one thing that’s draining you.

You know what it is. Maybe it’s a commitment you said yes to out of guilt. Maybe it’s a relationship that costs more than it gives. Maybe it’s the voice in your head that says you haven’t done enough yet today. Pick one. Release it. Not forever, if that feels too scary — just for this week. See how it feels to have that space back.

5. Breathe — and I mean really breathe.

I know, I know. You’ve heard me say this before. But I keep saying it because it works. Three slow breaths. Hand on your chest. Inhale through your nose, long exhale through your mouth. When you slow your breathing, you tell your nervous system that you’re safe. And when your body feels safe, it stops surviving and starts receiving. That’s where abundance lives — not in the hustle, but in the exhale.

You’re Not Behind. You’re Not Missing Something.

If you’ve been feeling like abundance is something that happens to other people — people with more time, more money, more freedom, more luck — I want to gently push back on that.

I’ve been in the place where life felt impossibly heavy. Where I couldn’t see past tomorrow, let alone dream about some bigger, richer, more fulfilling version of my life. I get it. And I also know this: the fact that you’re reading this, that something in you is still searching, still hoping, still wanting more? That’s not a problem. That’s your spirit telling you it’s not done yet.

You don’t need a perfect plan. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You just need to be willing to stop running long enough to ask: What would my life look like if I actually let good things in?

Allow. Acknowledge. Adjust. Adapt. Those are the four words I come back to every single time life throws me a curveball. They work for grief. They work for caregiving. And they work for this, too — for building a life that actually feels like yours.

You need you too. Please don’t forget that.

A Gentle Invitation

If something in this post stirred something in you — whether you’re a caregiver feeling depleted, someone navigating a life change, or just a person who knows deep down that there’s more waiting for you — I’d love to connect.

I offer a free Clarity Call. No pitch. No pressure. No strings. Just an honest conversation about where you are, where you want to be, and whether I can help you get there.

Sometimes the first step toward the life you want is simply being heard by someone who believes it’s possible for you.

Book Your Free Clarity Call → CLICK HERE

Xoxo, Jenny